Soccer ("football") sucks.

Soccer is said to be the most popular sport in the world, it is. But it's popularity does not subtract from the fact that it sucks. In fact in more ways than one, soccer's popularity is one of it's most unfortunate attributes. To me soccer is everything that is wrong with the world, fit into a neat little package. Soccer is allot like religion, it's idyllic, symbolic, and jammed packed with superstition. It's followers or "fans", are often narrow minded, temperamental and defensive. To me soccer is, if not the cause of, but a representation of all of the cancers of the human species. So i've assembled this little article describing why to me, soccer sucks!

Why soccer sucks:

• Soccer sucks because its boring, with 90 minutes games reaching up to record breaking 4 goals!
• Soccer sucks because it gives people reason to wear funny shirts, socks and armbands.
• Soccer sucks because it reinforces nationalism.
  
• Soccer sucks because it fosters a crowd mentality.
• Soccer sucks because it is quasi-religious.
• Soccer sucks because of soccer fans.
  

• "Soccer is like 90 minutes of foreplay, followed by two weeks of, 'Wow, that was allmost good sex.'" - Paul M. Parks
• "Twenty-one guys stand around and one guy does a tap dance with the ball." - Jim Murray
• "Soccer players have their iq printed on their backs" - Unknown
• "If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi" - Lewis Grizzard  
  
•  "Why is it that in professional soccer the player who is gravely injured and gets carried off the pitch (sic) on a stretcher is back in the game in less than five minutes?"- Randy van der Woning